Worshipping Your Wife: Chapter Seven
BONUS POINTS: MOTIVATIONAL MAGIC
Need to lose weight? Lower cholesterol and blood pressure? Add muscle mass? Stop smoking?
Solution: Fall in love. There's no more powerful motivational tool than striving to impress the object of one's affection. Guys (and girls) will do almost anything--quit smoking, lose weight, muscle up, buckle down-in order to be more desirable in the eyes of their chosen beholder.
Guess what? This motivational magic, which so typically vanishes after the honeymoon, miraculously returns (and endures) in a courtship marriage.
The magic works, and works fast-without the usual twelve steps. I leave it to the human potential gurus to label the psycho-mechanics involved. But creative visualization is certainly one of the motivational techniques at work here, according to many husbands who have described what fuels their renewed regimens:
For Her Eyes Only
I remembered the way my wife used to ogle my naked body back when we started dating, one writes, and I imagined her doing that again, and how I would have to look to make it happen.
The husband in question began doing daily pushups, situps and, even more vital, pushbacks from the table in order to turn himself back into his wife's favorite eye-candy. It was a special gift of himself that he wanted to give her.
This links back to the knightly quest discussed in Chapter 3. Traditional courtship, at least in the Western world, seems to follow the age-old conventions of courtly love.
The knight's quest may be futile, like Quixote's for his dreamed-of Dulcinea, or even doomed, like Jay Gatsby's for the unworthy Daisy Buchanan. But their strivings are no less heroic, which is clearly why Cervantes and Fitzgerald found them worthy of literary memorial.
No man is happy or complete, wrote Napoleon Hill, without the modifying influence of the right woman. The man who does not recognize this truth deprives himself of the power which has done more to help men achieve success than all other forces combined.1
The most persuasive testimony, for me, comes from less famous folk-a selection of husbands deliberately stuck in courtship mode. Their postings, culled from newsgroups and message-boards, not only boast of how each has been motivated by the wife-worship lifestyle, but speculate (with often surprising eloquence) on why:
I think it is part of male genetics to want to be brave for the ones we love. Powerful hormones coarse through our systems, and we are ready to give our all to serve and defend these beautiful, nurturing, challenging, life-giving, playful, wondrous women.
Giving our all for our wondrous women may not require hand-to-hand combat with barbarian hordes or jungle predators. The powerful hormones work equally well in helping a husband confront more mundane challenges:
Since we began our ‘courtship marriage’ several years ago, writes one devoted spouse, I have lost over twenty-five pounds and kept it off. I've lowered both my cholesterol and Body Mass Index.
Clearly, sex energy fueled this transformation: One advantage of losing the weight was that my wife started looking at me as a sex object. She was looking at my body, with its improved muscle tone, and getting aroused. The more I saw this hungry look in her eyes, the more I wanted to work out and watch what I ate.
I've been exercising like a fiend since this started, another husband reports proudly, and in only two months my chest and biceps are looking really good and I'm envisioning six-pack abs for the first time in my life....
You can read the rest of this chapter, and all the other chapters of Worshipping Your Wife, in book form. The 100-page paperbound book features all the original chapters written for this website (which began online in 2001) with a new concluding chapter, Happy-Ever-Aftering Takes Work.
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