Worshipping
Your Wife: Chapter Seven
BONUS
POINTS: MOTIVATIONAL MAGIC
Need
to lose weight? Lower cholesterol and blood pressure? Add muscle mass? Stop
smoking?
Solution:
Fall in love. There's no more powerful motivational tool than striving to
impress the object of one's affection. Guys (and girls) will do almost
anything--quit smoking, lose weight, muscle up, buckle down-in order to be more
desirable in the eyes of their chosen beholder.
Guess
what? This motivational magic, which so typically vanishes after the honeymoon,
miraculously returns (and endures) in a “courtship marriage.”
The
magic works, and works fast-without the usual twelve steps. I leave it to the
human potential gurus to label the psycho-mechanics involved. But creative
visualization is certainly one of the motivational techniques at work here,
according to many husbands who have described what fuels their renewed
regimens:
For
Her Eyes Only
“I
remembered the way my wife used to ogle my naked body back when we started
dating,” one writes, “and I imagined her doing that again, and how I would have
to look to make it happen.”
The
husband in question began doing daily pushups, situps and, even more vital,
pushbacks from the table in order to turn himself back into his wife's favorite
“eye-candy.” It was a special gift of himself that he wanted to give her.
This
links back to the knightly quest discussed in Chapter 3. Traditional courtship,
at least in the Western world, seems to follow the age-old conventions of
courtly love.
The knight's
quest may be futile, like Quixote's for his dreamed-of Dulcinea, or even
doomed, like Jay Gatsby's for the unworthy Daisy Buchanan. But their strivings
are no less heroic, which is clearly why Cervantes and Fitzgerald found them
worthy of literary memorial.
“No
man is happy or complete,” wrote Napoleon Hill, “without the modifying
influence of the right woman. The man who does not recognize this truth
deprives himself of the power which has done more to help men achieve success
than all other forces combined.”1
Husbands
Speak
The
most persuasive testimony, for me, comes from less famous folk-a selection of
husbands deliberately stuck in courtship mode. Their postings, culled from
newsgroups and message-boards, not only boast of how each has been motivated by
the wife-worship lifestyle, but speculate (with often surprising eloquence) on
why:
“I
think it is part of male genetics to want to be brave for the ones we love.
Powerful hormones coarse through our systems, and we are ready to give our all
to serve and defend these beautiful, nurturing, challenging, life-giving,
playful, wondrous women.”
Courtship
Calisthenics
Giving
“our all” for our “wondrous women” may not require hand-to-hand combat with
barbarian hordes or jungle predators. The “powerful hormones” work equally well
in helping a husband confront more mundane challenges:
“Since
we began our ‘courtship marriage’ several years ago,” writes one devoted
spouse, “I have lost over twenty-five pounds and kept it off. I've
lowered both my cholesterol and Body Mass Index.”
Clearly,
sex energy fueled this transformation: “One advantage of losing the weight was
that my wife started looking at me as a sex object. She was looking at my body,
with its improved muscle tone, and getting aroused. The more I saw this hungry
look in her eyes, the more I wanted to work out and watch what I ate.”
“I've
been exercising like a fiend since this started,” another husband reports
proudly, “and in only two months my chest and biceps are looking really good
and I'm envisioning six-pack abs for the first time in my life.”...
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